


The Next Christmas

by CapConspicuous



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: 25 Days of Stuckmas, Angst, Christmas, Christmas stucky!, Fluff, Just a little angst, M/M, Stucky - Freeform, stucky fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-02
Updated: 2016-12-02
Packaged: 2018-09-03 19:08:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,584
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8726725
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CapConspicuous/pseuds/CapConspicuous
Summary: It is Steve's 5th Christmas and Bucky's 6th, and they met only two months before. But two months is an eternity when you're 5 and 6.  That Christmas, Steve gets Bucky a whole half dollar's worth of candy, anything he chooses from the little shop across the street, and Bucky gets Steve the small model train that he saw Steve admiring from that same store.The next Christmas, they are 6 and 7.  Aka, many different Christmases and incidents through the years!





	

**Author's Note:**

> 25 Days of Stuckmas!
> 
> Aka me dying cause I love Stucky and Christmas and I'm gonna attempt to write a fic every day until Christmas :') R.I.P. me.  
> Please enjoy this, Stucky christmas through the years! 
> 
> Kudos and comments give me superpowers! (and the strength to continue living/writing/basically survive in hell)  
> (1/25 Days of Stuckmas)

It is Steve's 5th Christmas and Bucky's 6th, and they met only two months before. But two months is an eternity when you're 5 and 6. That Christmas, Steve gets Bucky a whole half dollar's worth of candy, anything he chooses from the little shop across the street, and Bucky gets Steve the small model train that he saw Steve admiring from that same store. 

The next Christmas, they are 6 and 7. Mrs. Rogers takes them both to the zoo for the whole day, and they return home willingly only because Steve starts running a fever. They spend the night at Steve's bed, reading Steve's new books- and Bucky attempts to play his new harmonica. Sarah says the neighbors would have complained of the racket, if not for the holiday spirit.

Steve has always known there was a gap separating him and the other boys but the gap widens when another year passes. He feels small but Bucky insists that is not the case, presenting him with a new baseball that they can throw around. Bucky gets a used bat, coincidentally. (Steve had to beg and beg to afford that old bat but it's worth the look of joy on Bucky's face, the prospect of days spent outside, late afternoons-)

Now they're 8 and 9, Steve catches pneumonia that year. _Pneumonia. Unbelievable_ , Bucky scoffs, but they stay indoors the whole day, ignoring the damp wheeze of Steve's lungs in favor of listening to the music box Steve bought Bucky. _It's not too girly,_ Steve defends it to Bucky before he even says a word, _it's got blue on it, look, look here._ But Buck says it _doesn't matter_ and shows Steve the shiny gift-wrapped shoebox. Inside, there is a box of colored pencils, like all the colors of the rainbow.

9 and 10 whizz past, Bucky's at double digits and Steve doesn't say anything but he feels like he hasn't grown at all. They go down to Coney's Island by themselves for the first time and Steve swears that Bucky almost gets sick on cotton candy. The rides are their presents to each other, and Steve likes the ones that make his heart float in his chest the most, even if it does skip beats at times.

Christmas is bitterly cold the next year, even more so than usual- so naturally, Steve catches a cold. Well, he not so much catches it as it plows into him like a freight train, bowling him over completely. Still, he's well enough to let Bucky wrap tinsel all over him while he's trying not to sneeze. Bucky, not even jokingly, gifts Steve a new, thicker blanket that year, while Steve, entirely accidentally, gives him a cold. Bucky swears up and down for the next week that the cold is the best Christmas present anyone's ever given him. (Steve actually got him a new sketchbook because he knows Bucky draws even though he never admits that he's as good as Steve-)

11 and 12 are good ages, as far as ages go. Steve and Bucky go out to the cinema and watch two movies in a row, coming home with lights flashing still behind their eyes and the hum of onscreen action under their skin. As an extra treat, they buy popsicles on their walk from home, even though it's chilly and _Stevie, we really shouldn't eat popsicles, you'll only get colder, what'll your ma do if I brought you home with frostbite-_

Suddenly they're 12 and 13 and Steve is baffled, (or something) when Bucky gets extra gifts from three different girls- and Steve sees that they're pretty and shy and he says so, but really because it seems like the right thing to say. Bucky laughs, like an agreement, but he shares the chocolates from Lorrie with Steve, and that makes Steve feel a little less puzzled, a little less confused. Steve gets him a wristwatch that year, an upgrade from the years before that. It makes Steve feel strangely proud and even more satisfied when Bucky hugs him- assures him that it's the best gift of all. In turn, Bucky presses a small wooden carving into Steve's hand, almost embarrassed because he says it's not good- but Steve turns it over and over; it's clearly a dog, mouth open and tail aloft. Allergies always prevented him from having a pet dog, but the carving suddenly seems more precious.

Steve's 13th Christmas isn't completely spent in a back alley, but he will always remember it for that. Slushy rain collects in his shoes as he scrambles to his feet, always too slow. But Bucky is there, throwing his own punches, holding out for the both of them; Bucky's frame has stretched considerably in the last year and he fends off the bullies in a matter of minutes. He pretends not to see Steve's brief tears while he's on his knees, blood starting to cloud his vision. The rest of the night is spent with hot chocolate and a rag with ice pressed to Steve's face. Bucky quietly hands Steve the set of charcoal sticks for his upcoming art classes, and Steve has to smile, albeit a bit painfully, as he presents Bucky tickets to the upcoming circus in town.

Maybe Steve will always know the Christmas when he is 14 and Bucky is 15 as the one time he is genuinely afraid they will not spend it together. Anne invites Bucky to see a new movie with her and her friends, and Steve's heart stops even as he sees Bucky smile at her in response. Bucky had told him before, he thought Anne was worth admiring. Steve sees the hope in her eyes even as his own heart starts to fall- but Bucky's smile is apologetic. He says sorry but he has plans- and Steve decides he will never lose faith in Bucky again. Steve wears the thin, silver chain from Bucky starting that night, and Bucky is gleeful over a new fountain pen to replace his old one.

It is amazing, and yet almost expected that Steve gets a raging flu the year he is 15 and Bucky 16. Steve is barely conscious for most of Christmas Day, fever dreams and sweat racing across his skin. Vaguely, he remembers Bucky is there and talking to him, but everything is mostly a blur. When he finally wakes the next day, shaking with chills, Bucky is slumped at the side of his bed, head in his hands and maybe drooling a bit. The wrapped object on Steve's chest is a leather-bound sketchbook, so soft and pliant in his trembling hands that he could just cry. He reaches out to his bedside drawer for a pencil and draws Bucky right then and there, because being sick hadn't allowed him out to get what he wanted for Bucky's present. Steve leaves the drool out of the sketch, just to preserve some of Bucky's dignity.

Bucky is 17 next, and Steve is 16. That year is the first year they get drunk, ever- some eggnog but mostly due to some whiskey that Bucky swiped from his dad. _It'll be fun, Stevie,_ Bucky laughs, and damn if Steve can't help but drink from that bottle. They don't do anything extreme, just sit on the sofa and talk, maybe slurring a bit as the night crawls by. Their gift exchange is quiet and giggly. It is Steve's turn to get a leather-banded wristwatch, and Steve gives Bucky a pocketknife, with just a hint of silver inlaid in its mahogany handle. Later, Sarah Rogers returns from her late shift to find the two of them asleep on the couch; she pulls a blanket over the both of them and removes the whiskey bottle from where it balances precariously between the couch cushions. She will probably lecture them later, but for now she allows herself to bask in their almost invisible mid-sleep smiles.

The next year is too quiet. They don't go out. Steve just sits next to Bucky, wordless, fiddling with the edges of the same leather-bound sketchbook from two years ago. There are no more tears but gaping absence is still there; Steve refuses Bucky's wrapped parcel because he has nothing to give in return. His minimal salary has recently all gone to paying rent, now that his mother has passed and Steve has nothing more to give. And he says so. There is more silence, then Bucky turns to him. Says his name. A reminder, or a soft call for Steve to look up from his restless fingers. _If I told ya what I wanted, I think you could give it to me, Stevie,_ Bucky is so close that he's soft around the edges. Steve's afraid to blink, afraid that- Bucky will move away? Move closer? _What is it_ , Steve has to ask, too breathy, too scared- Bucky breaks into a small smile. His answer is one syllable, pertaining to a specific person. _You._

Perhaps the force with which Steve responds is a force to be reckoned with, but Bucky takes it fine. More than fine. Maybe there are some tears shed, even, but then the Christmas is suddenly saved because they're slotted together like puzzle pieces and they'd both agree that the picture is goddamn beautiful. No sketchbook or watch in the world could capture the moments so perfectly. For the first time on Christmas, Steve and Bucky do not get just what they want, but what they need.


End file.
